Self Love

We are in February, it’s known for a few things and I want to start by saying Happy Black History Month! It is also considered the month of love and that’s the conversation I will like to have today. Some may ask what love has to do with health and nutrition. I would say it has everything to do with it. When it comes to one’s health, the mental and emotional aspects play a very important role. Throughout the years of my work as a dietitian, I have seen the need for love but more importantly, having love for oneself in keeping yourself healthy. When people get diagnosed with a chronic disease it can be hard on the person diagnosed but also on their family and friends. A lot of things can change for the short term, long term, or permanently. You should not depend on the love of others to push you through the journey of how to love yourself. What is self-love? Webster’s dictionary describes self-love as an appreciation of one’s worth or virtue; proper regard for and attention to one’s happiness or well-being. If you do not have a love for yourself and based on the definition, it is easy to slide down a rabbit hole and make your health situation worse. So, the following tips will help guide you through the steps of how to refocus your efforts to love yourself and get healthy. 

1. You can’t depend on the love of your family and friend to motivate or assist you in changing. The reason for this is the goals of your family may not align with your goals. They may want to be extremely strict and you may want to do enough to stay healthy but still have a good quality of life or vice versa. Your spouse or family may still be growing as people and they do not know how to support you without feeling they have to sacrifice things they are not ready to sacrifice. They may feel that this is not their issue or y’all have not been able to come up with a compromise that works best for all of you. Maybe it is not something on the negative end. Maybe they are willing to sacrifice and do what you need but there are other things that could be interfering like there are small children in the home or because of their work schedule they are not able to help you as much as you need. So, in this case, can you do what is needed? Do you let your health fall to the wayside because the people who love you are not able to do what you need or want them to do? If the answer is yes, do you truly love yourself? 
2. How much do you love yourself, if you’re waiting for your healthcare team to be your motivation? These people may have your best interest in mind but their care has limitations. Whether your health improves or not, the only thing that is impacted by your healthcare team is the frequency of your appointments and their guidance. As I said in my last blog, no one can want something more than you. If you don’t love yourself enough to make life changes, your healthcare team is certainly not going to be enough. They can’t control if you take your medication, improve your diet or exercise. They provide recommendations, medications, and aid in improving your knowledge of a topic but you have to do the rest. 
3. God loves me so he will heal me. Over the years I have heard this so many times only to watch my patient’s health decline. If you are not spiritual, this one is not for you. This is for those that are believers. Am I saying the statement is not true, no! God does love you but God gives us free will to do what we want. He provides us with direction and gives us the choice to follow it. I’ve been working in dialysis for many years and I’ve seen patients skip treatments, decline medication, refuse to get on the transplant list, and not make any diet modifications to aid in their health. I don’t know God’s plan, none of us do but maybe He was working on healing them or working on the heart of one of their family members so they can donate a kidney to them. Yet they did not do what they needed to do so they perished before God’s plan could come to pass. The Bible says faith without works is dead. This means you can have all the faith but you still need to do your part to make things happen. 

So, what does self-love look like when you are dealing with a chronic health condition or just trying to prevent any health issues? 1. You need to put yourself and your health first. Too many times we let work, school, family, friends, church, and other priorities come before our health. The problem with this is if you are not at your best you cannot give your best to people and activities. Plus, if your health worsens to the point of you needing help would these people sacrifice themselves for you? 2. Self-love can be expressed by going to all of your appointments. If you don’t keep up with your appointments, how do you know what adjustments, if any, need to be made? How do you know if your health is improving or declining? How are you keeping up with your lab draws and scans? You must go to all your appointments and reschedule them when life gets in the way. 3. Take your medications as prescribed. If you’re having complications that you cannot tolerate, let your medical team know so adjustments or changes can be made without interruptions in your treatment. 4. Work on your diet. If you eat right, you can feel right. This does not mean you should cut out everything you love and do extreme stuff. It just means that you have a balanced diet of the things your body needs and the things you enjoy. 5. Exercise regularly. Exercise has been proven to help with several things. From reducing the risk of chronic diseases, managing the severity of chronic diseases (for example reducing blood pressure and blood sugar levels), strengthening bones and muscles, managing weight, helping with anxiety and depression, and many other things. 6. Get enough sleep. Sufficient sleep (at least 7 hours per day) has been shown to help your immune system, manage your weight, lower health risks, improve your mood, manage your stress, and many more things. This one can be challenging depending on what you have going on in your life. So again, you have to assess your situation and make sure you put yourself first. 7. Do the things you love. Self-love includes living a fulfilling life. If you don’t do the things you enjoy or feel like you can’t do the things you enjoy, this may impact your motivation to get and stay healthy. I have heard so many times, what’s the point of following a diet or exercising or taking medication because I can’t do or eat anything that brings me happiness? So, make sure you are doing the things you like which can help remove the feeling that you’re not able to do anything. 

As you move forward on your health journey remember that self-love is one of the most important things. Learning to prioritize yourself and your needs over other people, your job, and your activities can help improve your health. Remember God loves you but you are still required to put work in. Lastly, if you do not know how to put yourself first or struggle to do so, ask for help from family and friends or go and speak with a therapist. Talking to a professional can help you overcome the challenges of loving yourself and steering your life back on track. So, remember that self-love and your health go hand and hand. And loving you may lead to a healthier you.